Why We Need To See More Black Women in Therapy on TV

I need therapy. I've known for at least the last five years of my life. But when I mentioned this and my anxiety to my then boyfriend he promptly laughed at me. Hence why I still haven't been and am now single.

Sadly, like Insecure's Molly (Yvonne Orji, who likened therapy to "paying for a fake friend") and most black people, I was raised to see therapy as the last resort for a weak, desperate person. Molly's initial rejection to the idea of getting professional help saddened me, because black women are amongst the highest group of people suffering from mental illnesses and yet we all refuse to get help for fear of being stigmatized.

This stigma is mainly perpetuated by the belief that religion is the answer to all problems. This of course stems from past times when Black folks felt we had nowhere else to turn but to churches and God when our mental health or emotional wellbeing was in jeopardy. 

Thou shalt not discuss the mental health issues, thou shalt just pray them away. Molly’s compliance to this dangerous principle is evident by how shocked she looked when her old friend Crystal told her she’d used therapy to help turn her life around and how offended she was when Issa hinted (and then later stated plainly) that counseling was something she should look into for herself.

Luckily, that all changed during the season two premiere when we saw Molly sitting front in center on the plush couch. And to my surprise I saw no jokes on Twitter about her being weak for taking the first step into cleaning up her messy AF life.

Black women, like myself, are running around thinking they have to go through life carrying the world on their shoulders with no help because of some made-up notion that we’re all supposed to be above mental health issues. We're supposed to be the strong ones. But you know what? I'm tired of being the strong friend. Starting today I'm giving myself permission to not always be okay. To not always be happy. To not always be excelling at work. Or to have everything going right in the love department. 

The solution to everything: honesty. Being honest about how I'm feeling will get me far. The same way it will improve Molly's life. And the more we talk about therapy, depression, anxiety, and mental health in general, the less stigmatized it will become. Like most millennials I enjoy watching relatable TV and this is a part of myself that I'm tired of hiding from everyone and want to see portrayed in an accurate, but hopeful way. 

This is why I love Insecure and it's commitment to being part of the solution. Thanks to the incredible staff, crew and Issa Rae the HBO hit series is platform to tackle difficult discussions about Blackness and mental health and I can't wait to see how this sort of issue plays out in future episodes.

10 Ways To Save Money At The Movie Theater

No lie, I've went to the movie theater nearly every weekend since January. Almost every. Single. Weekend. And some movies I've seen twice (or three times, if you're Girls Trip!). 

There's just something about relaxing in those plush chairs, munching on buttered popcorn and seeing Hollywood heartthrobs on a huge screen that keeps me going back for more. While I'm happy to breathe in the theater air, my bank account isn't always smiling. I believe in financially supporting good films, but all those tickets can take a toll on a girl's already stretched paycheck. (I mean c'mon I do live in New York).

Luckily I've found a few ways to cut corners and save money without having to ditch my weekly movie date. Here's 10 ways you can do the same, and don't worry, you'll still be able to afford the popcorn! 

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1. See a matinee

No brainer: The most obvious way to save money is by hitting the theater at off times since matinee showings are usually discounted by a few dollars. I'm not a big morning person, but I'm also not really a people person. Matinees are not only a good way to save cash, but also one of the best times see a movie uninterrupted. Theaters are quieter, you have your choice of seats and no sharing the armrests. Score!

2. Flash your ID

I'm like the only person on the planet who no longer can find their student ID. Total bummer. But, if you're one of the lucky few who can or is you know still an actual student, don't hesitate to whip out that card and start asking for discounts. 

But: I do have a military ID though, and it works just as good. Curse the day when it expires. 

3. Spring for the kids pack

Okay, I LOVE movie theater popcorn, but those buckets are hella big. Even the regular/small sizes are a little too much. And honestly towards the middle of the movie, I'm tired of chewing and would rather focus entirely on watching what's happening. So, no reason to waste money on the full-sized snack. Instead I get the kids size. Perfect portions, perfect (low) price and best of all I get a drink AND candy. 

Bonus: If you're feeling particularly cheap just bring your own snacks. I mean that's what big, tote purses were made for, right? Not that I've ever done this or anything. *smiles*

4. Go social

Take a break from stalking your exes social media pages and instead check the theater's (or the film's!) Facebook and Twitter pages before buying your tickets. Sometimes there are special offers for social media followers (i.e. FREE tickets!). 

5. Learn some loyalty

If you're like me and go to the movies every weekend, then do yourself a favor and become a member of the official-movie-goers clubs. Theater chains like Regal and AMC have special discounts and rewards for members of loyalty programs, so it doesn't hurt to sign up for a frequent-buyer card. Benefits for both are below.

Regal Crown Club: Free to join, and rewards include free popcorn and drinks, and a free movie for each $150 you spend

AMC Stubs: A $12 annual fee, and you’ll get free concession "upgrades" and a $10 credit for every $100 spent

6. Forego 3-D

 I can't think of a single time that I've paid the extra $3-5 for a 3D movie. Point blank: Most don't warrant the extra cost. My advice is to do some research. If a movie is receiving high praise for visual effects go for it. But, don't just drop the cash for the plastic glasses before seriously asking yourself if it’s worth the up charge.

7. Go solo

Ah! The benefits of being single! Number one: I ain't got to take nobody to the movies with me, which means one ticket, smaller snack sizes and a happy wallet. If you aren't as fortunate to be single full-time, it might be worth the money to leave your bae at home and enjoy the flick by yourself. 

8. Sign Up for Theater Newsletters

Along with signing up for a loyalty program, sign up for newsletters, emails and promos with your local theaters. You’ll probably have to wade through a lot of junk email, but you might be rewarded with coupons, give aways, special discounts or freebies. And who doesn't love movie freebies!?

9. Avoid Reservation Sites 

I'm a diva and like booking tickets in advance since I typically see films on opening night. Therefore I like buy my tickets using third-party sites like Fandango. BUT, doing this adds a “convenience fee” on top of the admission price, and you’ll end up paying more. Combat the need for this by simply getting to the theater early and being first in line.

10. Make a friend in Media

It pays to have friends like me! Magazine editors, employees of media/TV companies, and people of the arts get invites to studio-hosted screenings. And typically, we can bring guests! Sure we'll have to wait in line super early (since most are overbooked to ensure capacity), but they're free and often times held BEFORE the film even hits theaters. #BestWorkPerksEver

Hopefully this helps you movie lovers and your wallets!
How do you save money at the theater? Let me hear in the comments!

30 Things I Want To Do Before My 30th Birthday

I've always been a dreamer, but now it's time to be a doer. 

I’m currently 23 and feel the years slipping through my fingers. In about two months I'll be turning 24, making me a year away from the inevitable quarter-life crisis. While I've accomplished a lot in my life so far (and am totally grateful for that!) there's so much still that I want to do.

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You might not know it, but I'm a highly ambitious person. I have lofty hopes and dreams, but rather than letting life just happen to me, I want to take a bit more control. So I decided to create a bucket-list of sorts – 30 things I want to accomplish before turning 30. It's a mixture of persona, professional and fun with the best part being that everything is totally doable within the next six years.

ADVENTURE

While I might be fealess when it comes to taking professional risks, I'm not nearly as adventreous in my personal life. I still don't want to do anything too crazy, but there's a couple of things I want to do that will definitely require me to leve the comfort of my room. 

1. Travel outside the country
2. Go Glamping
3. Visit the real Halloweentown
4. Go ziplining
5. Learn to surf

WELLNESS

Sure, I go to Soul Cycle, but I need to up my workout/wellness regimine. More self-care is a must! 

6. Consistently work out. Lol
7. Run a 5K
8. Meditate for a week straight
9. Have my palms read

EDUCATION

"If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room." I took that peice of advice seriously and want to keep learning, partciulary in grad school. 

10. Go to film school
11. Attend a writer's workshop
12. Take a calligraphy class
13. Re-learn to code

PROFESSIONAL/FINANCIAL

Make that money honey! These goals are all about getting me to the next level of my career and to financial freedom. 

14. Write a TV pilot
15. Write a book
16. Blog for an entire year
17. Have a screenplay accepted into a film festival
18. Buy a car
19. Pay off my credit card

FUN/OTHER

Girls just wanna have fun! And yes, I just sang that. This section is all about the random and quirky things I plan to do between writing scripts and spin classes. 

20. Live alone
21. Visit a drive in theater
22. Get a second tattoo
23. Host a vision board party
24. Visit a dine-in theater
25. Volunteer on a major holiday
26. Go to a concert. And it was Beyonce!
27. Binge-watch a 90s show
28. Go one day without hitting snooze
29. See 10 Broadway Shows
30. Go to Book Con!

What’s something you suggest everyone does before turning 30? Let me know in the comments!